Ask Bill Cipher
by Spring Pines
Summary: Face it. Bill's a handful! I don't own Gravity Falls. I have to put my disclaimer in my summary. Sorry. :3
1. Chapter 1

Ask Bill Cipher!

Spring: Hi guys! It's me, Spring Pines! But just call me Spring!Anyways, today I'm with... Wait where is he?

Bill: Sorry, I was busy...

Spring: Invading people's minds?

Bill: Oh, you're good!

Spring: *shrugs* I guess its a gift! This is like

truth or dare! Please send in questions and dares!

Bill: Umm... Is this gonna like, have long term damage, cause' if it does, I needa leave now...

Spring: NO YOU DONT! *takes Bill and ties to a tree*

Bill: How is there a tree in you bedroom?

Spring: What makes you think it's _my_ bedroom? I wouldn't have some physco freak in my room! It might be yours...

Bill: I hope not...

Spring: So, my friends have sent in questions for him! (before I even posted this...) YAY! First one...

Dipperxpacifica3

Hi! Bill, if I asked you on a date, would you say yes?

Bill: Hmm...Looks like I have fangirls!... I am available by the way! *blows Kisses to fangirls, who btw are fighting each other for him...*

Spring: Why was the first one about relationships?! But anyway... My bff personally asked this one! *grins evilly*

Bill: Oh no... am I supposed to run now or what?

Spring: NO! DON'T RUN! OR ELSE!

Bill: am I supposed to say "or else what?"

Spring: Yes your are supposed to say that! Now! *points gun at Bill*

Bill: WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Whoa. Put the gun down. We can be friends...

Spring: NEVER! *shoots right below feet.*  
Bill: I am even more scared of you then MLP now...

Spring: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH! THAT WAS AMAZING! YOUR FACE! AHAHAHAHAHA! Wait. You're scared of MLP?

Bill: Go on with the dares please...

Spring: answer the question, Dorito! *aims gun at once more*

Bill: Fine! yes, i'm scared of MLP, the talking ponies and the "Friendship is Magic" is freaking scary, And you're recording this aren't you?  
Spring: You mean, recorded? *puts down gun and picks up phone* It's viral! In 5 seconds!

Bill: Oh My Dreamscape!

Spring: Oh my, what now?

Bill: Nothing...

Spring: ONTO THE DARE! Ok, Bill you have to go up and kiss Dipper and Mabel, on the lips! (Alas, Thank you friend! I needed to see this!) Go crazy MaBill fans! Same with BillDip fans ( BillDip fans are awesome! I love you to Mabill fans!)

Bill: WHAT?!  
Spring: *snaps fingers and they appear at Mystery Shack*

Bill: Do I have to?...

Spring: Only if you wanna live... *smirks*

Bill: I hate you...*knocks on door*

Mabel: Hello? AHHHHHHH! TRIANGLE GUY!  
Bill: Let me ex-

Mabel: Dipper!

Bill: UGH... *grabs up by the sweater and kisses*

Mabel: ... DIPPER! TRIANGLE GUY! *slams door*

Dipper: *opens door and hits Bill in the head with a book.*

Bill: I'm gonna regret this... *takes Dipper by vest and kisses*

Dipper: I'm gonna puke...

Bill: Sorry kiddos! I'm gonna make it up to ya!

Spring: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT WAS AWESOME! *snaps Bill and herself back to the 'room'*

Bill: ...

Spring: Bill?

Bill: ...

Spring: Bill? *waves hand over his face, which is unresponsive*

I think we broke him... Well, until he wakes up, let's draw on him! *draws* Here's a list of what I drew!

around his eye/under his eye: Mustache and beard (normal face stuff) oh and a mole.

bowtie area: Dipper and Mabel murdering him with an ax! *My favorite thing I drew*

Hands/arms : Curly patterns

Legs: I didn't draw on those, instead I put some of my leggings on him. It's kinda disturbing, Yanno? If ya notice, he doesn't wear pants... HE DOES NOW! wait... I got an idea! *erases everything* I put lipstick on him. (Well where his mouth would be...) and eye liner, and mascara! I put one of my sundresses on him, which makes him look 'gorgeous' (Aka hilarious)

But anyways! See you next chapter! Don't forget to send in dares and questions!


	2. Chapter 2

Spring: Hey guys! Bill is waking up! I can't wait to see his face!

Bill: Where am I? What happened?

Spring: You had to kiss Dipp- Pine Tree and Shooting Star, and you passed out!  
Bill: Really? Ugh. Why am I wearing a sun dress though?

Spring: Umm... You are wearing a dress because... You were...um... playing Truth or dare with... some old ladies!

_Nailed it!_

Bill: Really? Did I win?

Spring: Of course you didn't! You're wearing a dress Bill!

Bill: How do I look? (poses)

Spring: You look like a stupid dorito that's going to prom.

Bill: *Turns into a human without make up and stuff* Now?

Spring: U-uh... You l-look uh...

Bill: Stuttering... First sign of a cr-

Spring: ANYWAYS! Let's get to those dares and questions!

this one is from...

Rachel Corduroy

Ok! *grins evilly* You must go on a date with Spring! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'M SUCH A PAIN IN THE BEHIND!

Spring: Let's skip that one...

Bill: Nope! It's a dare. And it'll be our first date!

Spring: *shudders* I'd rather go on a date with Gideon!

Bill: No. You wouldn't. Believe me.

Spring: Oh my god. What did you just say?!

Bill: What?! I didn't say anything! What words came out of my mouth? What are words?!

Spring: You've been on a date with Gideon! OMG! WAIT UNTIL I LITERALLY GO AROUND ON YOUTUBE, screaming you've been on a date with Gideon!

Bill: NO! I'LL DO ANYTHING! HE TRICKED ME! Wait a minute... You were joshin' me...

Spring: Yes. Yes I was. Actually, i'd like to introduce you to a good friend of mine! Soren! And he's _not _my boyfriend!

Soren: Hello! I'm a big friend of Gravity Falls, but sadly I don't have a fanfiction account.

Spring: My deepest condolences.

Soren: Thank you Spring. And did I hear you say something about Bill and Gideon on a date?

Spring: Yes! I found out Bill is gay...

Bill: I'm not gay! He tricked me! That little bastard tricked me!

Soren: Calm down Bill! This is rated K+. So you can't say things like that!

Spring: Yeah! Don't make me give you the the gun...

Bill: *Shuts up*

Soren: Thank you! *pulls out phone and texts something*

Bill: What are you texting?!

Soren: Oh, about yours and Spring's big date tonight! Oh btw Bill, you gotta pay for dinner. Guys always pay for the meal. I found that out the hard way...

*flashback*

Soren: So, are we gonna pay now or what?

Girl: Yeah, I guess so...

*they stare at each other awkwardly*  
Girl: Well aren't you going to pay? The guy always pays for the meal.

Soren: ... What...?

Girl: You don't have any money on you?! Me neither! God damnmit...

Soren: We better run...

*end of flashback*

Bill: You done with that flashback?

Soren: Done. Anyway, I can't wait for your guy's date!

Spring: What?! There is NOT going to be a date! Especially with Bill!

Bill: What?! Come on! It was a dare! So, we have to!

Soren: Yeah! So, where are you gonna take her Bill?

Bill: A REALLY fancy restaurant. I was gonna order steak too...

Spring: Steak you say? Maybe i'll go if it doesn't take to long...`

Bill: That's the spirit!

Soren: Ok, now... Bill go invade peoples minds or something.

Bill: Don't have to tell me twice! *flashes out of room*

Spring: I don't really have to go on a date with him do I?!

Soren: Sorry Spring. But I already picked out your dress.

Spring: No one said anything about dresses!

Soren: Actually, I just did! Come on, it's really pretty! It's flowy, and has sequins. It's also got a V neck! I was tempted to cut it into a W neck, but I decided against it.

Spring: Are you sure you're a guy? You seem to know a lot about dresses...

Soren: Last time I checked, yes. I am a guy.

Spring: ... That's a conversation i'll never be able get out of my head...

Soren: Hey! You asked. Come on... i'll go on a date with you later if you try it on.

Spring: A date with you, eh? No.

Soren: OH MY GOD SPRING! JUST PUT THE DAMN DRESS ON!

Spring: No.

Soren: FINE THEN! *tackles and attempts to get her into dress*

Spring: AHHHH! HEY! GET YOUR HANDS AWAY FROM THERE!

See you guys next chapter...


	3. Chapter 3

Bill: She's even more beautiful with that dress on...

Spring: That's gross Bill... Soren!

Soren: Yes?

Spring: You are SO lucky this dress looks great on me. Or else i'd be burying your dead body!

Soren: I'll take that as a compliment! Get out of here you two lovebirds!

Bill: *puts arm over Spring's shoulder* Come on babe.

Spring: I'm not your babe, Bill!

Bill: Eh, I'm still gonna call you babe, deal with it.

Spring: Ugh!

*they walk out of room*  
Soren: Hehe! Excellent! Now, who's ready to spy on them, in a non-creepy sorta way!?

Mabel: Me! Me!

Dipper: Sure, I could use some entertainment.

Soren: How did you guys get here?

Mabel: I don't know... We just kinda appeared! Maybe it has something to do with the date... Because as we all know... I am a dating expert.

Dipper: We all know that's not true. Look what happened between you and Gideon! I had to break up with him for you, instead of you doing it yourself!

Mabel: He just got really clingly...

Soren: Anyways, let's go spy on Bill Cipher, and Spring Pines!

Dipper: Wait, like our sister, Spring Pines?

Soren: Yep!

Mabel and Dipper: AWESOME!

Soren: I know right?!

Dipper: Wait, is this her choosing, or against her will?

Soren: I tackled her to get her into the dress, what do you think?

Mabel: Definately against her will then. Let's go!

_***at the restaurant***_

Spring: Bill, you are _so _lucky that this is rated K+.

Bill: Why?

Spring: Wait... I just can't _show_ you getting hurt!

Bill: Wait, what?

Spring: So if I drag you off stage...

Bill: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Spring, don't even try what you're thinking!

Spring: Therefore, I could hurt you! Just not in front of the camera! *grins evilly*

Bill: IF YOU'RE READING THIS, COME SAVE ME BEFORE ITS TOO LATE!

Spring: *drags Bill off stage, where you can hear his high pitched girly screams*

_***meanwhile off stage***_

Spring: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! CHAIN SAW!

Bill: GOD DAMMIT WOMEN, LEAVE ME ALONE!

Spring: NEVER!

*They both take their seats back in the restaurant like nothing ever happened. Accept Bill has bruises on his face*

Chef: You're dinner. *puts plates on the table*

*they eat in silence*

Spring: You realize Dipper, Mabel, and Soren are watching us, right?

Bill: Yeah, I noticed. They're the ones wearing the trenchcoats.

Spring: Wanna mess with them?

Bill: *grins* sure.

_**the next booth over...**_

*Dipper's watching Bill and Spring, suddenly they grab each others hands and stare lovingly into each other's eyes.*

Dipper: Should we be worried about that?

Soren: Nah! It's just romance happening- wait a minute! That shouldn't be happening!

*Soren attempts to get up, but Mabel sits him back down. He tries to protest, but she puts a finger over his mouth*

Mabel: Let nature take it's course.

Dipper: That's nasty Mabel. Where do you learn this stuff?!

Mabel: Grunkle Stan!

Dipper and Soren: ...

Soren: You must have a closer relationship with Stan than I thought!

Mabel: EWW! NO! I-I sometimes read his magazines...

Dipper: Those "fully clothed women" magazines?

Mabel: Maybe...

Soren: Yeah... Just ignore that last part of the conversation...

Mabel: Yeah.

*they suddenly hear Bill and Spring's conversation*

_**(A/N If you want effect, listen to My heart will go on, titanic theme!)**_

Bill: I wish they wouldn't be the ones to keep us apart.

Spring: Maybe if we ran away, we could be together. Bill...

Bill: Spring...

*as they start to lean in, Dipper intervenes*

Dipper: WHAT THE HELL?! YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO LOVE EACH OTHER!

(_**Cut the sappy music, and go on reading)**_

Spring: But Dipper! I LOVE him!

Bill: Just saying, you're not invited to the wedding.

Dipper, Spring, Mabel, and Soren: _**WEDDING?!**_

Bill: Of course, I forgot. Spring, can I say something crazy? Will you marry me?!

Spring: Can I say something even crazier? Yes!

Dipper: NO!

Bill and Spring: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU FELL FOR IT!

Dipper, Soren, And Mabel: What?  
Spring: You thought I loved him?! Thank god that's done!

Bill: Sure she's hot. And Spring Cipher rolls off the tongue...

*he stops because everyone is staring at him.*  
Bill: WHAT?!

Spring: You know what!

Dipper: That was disturbing...

Spring: Bill, you realize people will probably start shipping us right?

Bill: *grins* I know. And I love it.

Spring: You're not even gonna hide your affections for me?

Bill: Nope!

Spring: You realize i'm not interested.

Bill: Yep.

Spring: Then why do you try?

Bill: That's a good question. And I don't have an answer.

Mabel: He's even worse than Gideon...

Bill: No. No i'm not. At least i'm not forcing her into a relation- *evil grin*

Spring: NO! *snaps fingers and they now appear in the Tree Room*

Mabel: Tree room! Wait is this gonna just be truth or dare, or just truth or dare for Bill?

Soren: Just truth or dare for Bill. But you guys can hang around for awhile!

Dipper: That sounds great! What'd you think Spring?

*they look around but Spring isn't anywhere to be found. Neither is Bill.*  
Soren:Well, I think they disappeared into a closet together!

Mabel: Where nature will take it's course!  
Dipper: No Mabel. Just no.

*they all hear a high pitched girly scream*

Soren, Dipper, and Mabel: Yep. That's Bill.


	4. Chapter 4

Dipper: Where were you?!

Bill: Getting mauled by fangirls. They wouldn't leave us alone unless we signed autographs...

Spring: Those girls were ruthless! They knocked out two of my teeth! I look like i'm 6 again!

Mabel: Ouch...

Bill: She's still gorgeous though.

Spring: Readers, I hope you are enjoying this... This is like torture to me! But anyways, we got questions! She said call her Forest, so I will. Anyways, Forest asked,

_**Bill, do you have any brothers?**_

Bill: Yes. But we're not really that close, so yeah...

Mabel: Did you kill him?

Bill: No, but I want to.

Soren: Well ladies and gentlemen, can you say motivation?

Spring: I feel sorry for your brother... And stop with the sarcasm Soren.

Bill: anything else?

Spring: Actually, she had a bunch of things poured into 1 review!

Dipper: Is there anything that will harm Bill in any way?

Bill: Why would you want me to get hurt P.T?!

Dipper: 1. You broke into my Grunkle's mind. 2. You possessed my body, and gave me pains that lasted for at least a week!

3\. You kissed Mabel and I just this morning! Should I go on?

Bill: Yeah, yeah, I get it.

Soren: He _kissed _you?!

Bill: It was a dare! Keep reading that forest girl's thing please.

Spring: Oh yeah, I almost forgot about her! Sorry Forest! Anyways, keep reading... She also said,

_Is there one night when you kind of lose control over yourself and so a little too insane. Like how wolves do to the Full Moon?_

Bill: Kid, That's every single night of my life! Being a demon makes you pretty damn crazy!

Soren: Crazy? That's it?! Dude, you're insane!

Mabel: Yep.

Dipper: Yeah, a little bit...

Spring: I don't know what being crazy would feel like.

Bill: Ever had smile dip?

Spring: No...

Bill: Go eat some then you'll know. Except its a little more evil than that stuff. But it's almost the same.

Spring: No thank you! Anyways, the third one says,

_Name 1 pairing that you wish never existed for Gravity Falls._

Bill: BillDip. Hands down.

Dipper: Wait, whaaaa?

Bill: You heard me.

Soren: Not Mabill? Dipeon? Pinescest? There are worse ships then you and Dipper.

Dipper: I disagree.

Bill: Me too.

Mabel: What's Mabill? Wait, don't answer that..

Spring: Wasn't gonna. And anyways, I ship Mabill! And BillDip!

Mabel: You. Our own sister? Ship Dipper and I with this lunatic?!

Bill: Can we stop talking about ships and get on with the dares/questions?

Spring: Yeah, let's do that. I'm glad no one asked about Pinescast. That one sucks in my opinion. Anyways,

_Spring can you see what happens when you two go to church or when Bill gets holy water on him?_

Bill: No! Don't. do. It!

Dipper: I'll go get the camera!

Bill: No way! *tackles Dipper*

Spring:We are going to church! *snaps fingers and Bill is floating yet is frozen*

Mabel:Ok! See you in, like, 3 hours!

Spring: Nope. Dip, Mabel, Soren, You're coming too.

Dipper: What?

Mabel: OK!

Soren: Do I have too?

Spring: Soren, think about it. You just asked if you have to go to church. Of course you have to go!

Mabel: It's Sunday?

Spring: Surprisingly, yes. Oh yeah. *snaps fingers and Bill falls to the ground*

Bill: NOOOOOOO! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME GO!

Spring: You could be a good boy, or I could force you. You're choice.

Bill: ... Fine... But I don't see the need to go.

Soren: We're still going.

Bill: Darn.

Spring: Let's go!

...

*They walk into the church, where people are starting to take their seats*

Bill: Is it to late to turn back...? I'd honestly rather listen to synthesized music...

Soren: That can be arranged...

Spring: No, it can't Soren. Bill we're already here. Let's take our seats.

Bill: I will burn down this building once we're out of here! I'm not scared to do it!

Dipper: Bill, everyone heard you. Literally everyone in the church...

*Bill looks around, and indeed everybody is staring at him with horror*

Bill: Uh... I have a good reason!

Preist: You better! Why in the name of Christ would you burn down the house of God?!

Mabel: I'm not with him! *Dipper and Mabel run off*

Spring: *crosses arms with a smug look on face* I want to see how this turns out!

Bill: Non-specific excuse! We better run... *grabs Spring's arm and literally drags her out of the church*

*everyone is screaming and acting like an angry mob*

Spring: They're taking it easy, surprisingly.

Bill: I hardly see why *pant* people go to *pant* worship, that son of a-

Spring: Don't use that language Bill!

Bill: You'd be cussing like this, if you were *pant* running and dragging *pant* someone along with you!

Spring: Yeah, my butt has been skidding on the road for a couple blocks now, so if you could just lift me up, I could run by myself.

Bill: Oh right. Sorry. *lifts up and she gets back up on her feet*

Spring: *looks behind* These guys just don't give up! They're acting like a you're a Witch! You know how Gravity Falls is about Witches.

Bill: *facepalm* Why didn't I just snap us back to the Tree Room?

Spring: I don't know. You tell me.

Bill: Because i'm an idiot! That's why! *snaps fingers, they appear in the "Tree Room" along with Dipper, Mabel, and Soren*

Spring: Hehehe. You called yourself an idiot!

Soren: HAHA! ZING!

Mabel: Soren! That's my line!  
Dipper: Darn! My slushie...

Spring: What? You went to the mall, when Bill and I where being chased down by a angry mob of Christians?! or Cathlics. Not sure which...

Soren: You got chased by religious people?

Bill: Yeah. While you were getting slush- *sees Spring pouting* Ok, What's wrong now?

Spring: Th-they got da slushies... And didn't get me one! I feel like crying now.

Bill: Chin up. I'll get you one later. Okay?

Spring: OKAY! Don't forget. I'll kill you if you forget.

Bill: Okay, you just made sure I won't forget.

Spring: Good. Anyways... Forest again!

_Who would you want to be your apprentice in Gravity Falls?_

Bill: No one. I'm perfectly fine on my own.

Spring: Not an answer Bill.

Soren: Can I read the next one?

Spring: Yes. Dipper, go get me my slushie.

Dipper: Bill was going to do it! And it'll be kinda like your do over date! Just no proposing to each other!

Spring: I don't want a do over date! I. WANT. MY. SLUSHIE!

Mabel: Better get it Dipper!

Dipper: Fine! What flavor?

Spring: Umm... I don't know. Just get... some sort of soda flavor. Oh, and when you're out buying my slushie, could you get me a bag of Doritos? They have to be nacho flavor.

Dipper: Ugh. Fine! *stomps out of room*

Spring: Ok, where were we? Oh yeah, apprentice. Bill choose someone. You won't have to hire them. Promise! *crosses fingers behind back*

Bill: Umm... You, Spring?

Spring: DARNIT! I'm now you're apprentice...

Bill: What?  
Spring: I crossed my fingers when I said You won't have to hire them...

Bill: HAHA! Boom! Anyways, since you are now my apprentice, I have a certain outfit you need to wear.

Spring: NO! SAVE ME SOREN!  
Soren: Should I...? Nah. What outfit did you have in mind Bill?

Bill: *grins* Why don't we see her in it, huh?

Mabel: Hehe. I'm sorry Spring...

Spring: I have Gideon in my contacts, Mabel! Don't push my buttons!

Mabel: *shuts up*

Bill: Bathroom is the door to the left. *hands Spring an outfit*

Spring: *takes outfit and walks into the bathroom, then locking the door*

Mabel: What was that about?

Soren: You chiqui demon, you.

Bill: Hehehe. You almost done in there, Spring?

Spring: This is embarrassing. Do I have to?!

Bill: Yes. You're my apprentice! Annnnnnnnnnd I wanna see you in that dress! Notice anything about it?

Spring: No unless you count it being based off of you... Then no.

Bill: DING DING DING! Right on the nose! Come on out! Or i'll bust down that door!

Spring: You won't bust down that door! And i'm staying in here! This is even more embarrassing then... Something I had to do in 3rd grade.

Mabel: Oh! Are you talking about th-

Spring: Yes Mabel! That's what i'm talking about.

Soren: You have to tell me that story later, Spring.

Spring: Kinda preoccupied by hiding in the bathroom from Bill!

Bill: Oh come on! This is ridiculous! *walks over to door and literally kicks it down*

Spring: AHHHHH! WHAT IF I'D BEEN NAKED?!

Bill: Then I guess it would have been my lucky day. Come on! You actually look really good in that!

Spring: I hate you... *walks out of bathroom*

*The dress is yellow and goes down to her knees. She has black high heel boots, and black lace up gloves on. The dress also has 1 single eye in the middle. She has a yellow headband, and has her hair pulled up into a ponytail. And one of those tight leather jackets for girls.*

Mabel: OH MY GOD! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU COULD BE HIS GIRLFRIEND!

Bill: *pulls Spring into a side hug* See? They like it!

Spring: *sits back down* I look like I you just puked on me.

Soren: It's not _that _bad!

Bill: *sits down* where's P.T?

Dipper: I'm her- OH. MY. GOD. What did you do to my sister?! She looks like you puked yourself up on her!

Spring: He gets me! *snatchs slushie and chips out of hands*

Dipper: This is what I get for running errands for you guys. My sister looking like she could be married to Bill!

Spring: *rolls eyes* Don't remind me! *eats a Dorito. Which is indeed shaped like a triangle* Mmmm, Nacho flavor!

Bill: *stares in horror at the triangle shaped chips* Poor chips...

Soren: Dude, you won't be saying that when you get a taste of those chips!

Spring: Anyways, we got another dare! Long story short, Bill. Kiss waddles.

Mabel: THAT'S MEAN TO WADDLES!

Bill: Just kiss the pig?! Pfft, to easy!

Spring: Have you ever *slurp* kissed a pig before? *shoves fistful of Doritos in mouth*

Bill: Yes.

Dipper: You could of just said no. That's sorta TMI.

Bill: Being honest.

Spring: I'll make this harder for you, since you stuck me in this outfit...

Mabel: I'm still not letting you touch him!

Spring: You have to kiss Waddles' butt!

Soren: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Bill: You don't know where his butt has been!

Mabel: You don't want to know!

Everyone: ...

Spring: Nevermind, you don't have to kiss Waddles' butt. That conversation disturbed the hell out of me... Just kiss the pig already! *snaps fingers and Waddles pops into the middle of the room*

Mabel: NOOOOOOOOOO! LEAVE MY PIG ALONE!

*Dipper and Soren restrain her from hurdling herself towards the beloved pet*

Bill: Well, here goes nothing... *picks the pig up and kisses the horrified animal*

Mabel: MY POOR BABY!

Bill: Ugh. *sets the terrified pig down*

*Mabel bursts into tears because Bill kissed her pig*

Spring: Mabel!

Mabel: *is still crying*

Spring: MABEL!

Mabel: *_still _crying*

Spring: DRAMA MAMA! Your pig is fine! See? *snaps fingers and Waddles disappears back to the Shack*

Mabel: You *sniffle* monster! Waddles is probably *sniff* scarred for life!

Bill: Whoa kid. Just whoa. It's not like when I kiss something, it dies.

Soren: How do you know?

Bill: I've kissed plenty of people before. None of them died from me kissing them.

Mabel: Okay. I guess. *sniffles*

Spring: I think we'll wrap this up... And thank you for the dares by the way!


	5. Chapter 5

Spring: Ok, we cooled Mabel down a bit...

Mabel: Yeah... Bill explained to me when he kisses something, they aren't poisoned. He proved it by kissing Spring!

Bill: Hehehe.

Spring: Don't remind me. Anyways, we got dares! And questions. So, this one is from Guest. They said,

_Could you have Bill watch MLP? PUH-LEEZE?!_

Bill: NO! NUH UH!

Soren: Yay! Can I watch it too? PUH-LEEZE!?

Spring: You're a brony?

Soren: Yep! And i'm proud!

Mabel: Well, you can't judge that!

Spring: We shall watch MLP! We'll watch Equestria Girls! Sorry Corn-Chip.

Bill: I'm NOT a corn chip! And WHY do you people hate me? I didn't even wanna be in this stupid fanfiction!

Spring: You should of been watching your back, when I snuck up on you before the writer began writing this!

Dipper: How do you know what was happening before this fanfiction?

Spring: Because i'm writing it!

Soren: Oh... That makes sense.

Bill: You actually dream about Gravity Falls? That shows your obsession, but you gotta stop watching it so much you start dreaming about it.

Spring: I can control you!

Bill: Yeah. You came up with my obsession over you. Not me.

Spring: HEY! A girl can dream! So shut up! *grabs MLP Equestria Girls movie case*

Mabel: You had that right there?

Spring: Yes. You have a problem with that?

Mabel: No.

Spring: Good.

Soren: Word to the wise guys, Spring is scary and could kill you right now if she wanted.

Spring: But I don't want to right now, because this story is K+ so I can't kill you guys. Especially _this _guy! *points to Bill*

Bill: *glares* Just play the stupid movie.

Spring: Okay! Dipper, put it in. I'm getting the popcorn. *walks out of room*

Bill: Let's run!

Mabel: She going to catch you if you run. Face it Bill. She's even more powerful then you in this fanfiction. She's controlling us right now...

Dipper: True... So she knows what i'm thinking?

Soren: Everyone know what your thinking!

Bill, Mabel, Soren: Wendy!

Dipper: So True...

Everyone: Haha!

Spring: Whatcha' laughing about?

Bill: Oh! You're back...And-out of the dress I gave you!

Spring: Yeah, I have the power to change the story! Kinda like Super-Why! Kinda cool actually. Anyways... Dares and questions. *pops movie in*

*everyone watches the surprisingly good MLP movie*

Bill: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Spring: Bill, what are you saying? You sound like you're snorin- BILL!

Bill: What?! I'm up! i'm up! Ooh popcorn! *takes a handful of popcorn and shoves it in mouth*

Soren: No! Don't go through the mirror, Twilight! And she fell in.

Mabel: This is almost as good as DBH!

Bill: *spits popcorn out* Bleugh! Why is this popcorn soggy?!

Spring: I like it with extra, extra, extra butter! Got a problem with that?!

Bill: No...

Soren: Good answer!

Dipper: This is a surprisingly good movie... Stupid Sunset Shimmer.

*movie ends*

Spring: I liked Fluttershy.

Mabel: Pinkie-Pie!

Soren: Twilight shouldn't of fell through that mirror.

Dipper: I guess I liked RainbowDash...

Bill: Oh my god! I would of rather listened to Shrillex!

Soren: DO IT!

Spring: Soren, calm down.

Soren: Sorry... Anyways, we got some dares! And questions. Pfft. I like the dares. This is from SongofPeace16!

_I dare Bill to 1:_

_Kiss a donkeys butt (it poops in his mouth and Mabel records it as payback for him kissing Waddles and gets six million views on YouTube)_

_2: Kill Kenny_

Bill: No. I'll kill Kenny, whoever he is. But I will seriously kill anyone (meaning SongofPeace 16!) If I have to kiss a donkey's butt!

Spring: We'll skip the donkey butt, but we'll come up with something else.

Mabel: Aw... He deserves it for kissing Waddles! The poor pig is tramautized! He said it himself!

Dipper: Waddles doesn't talk Mabel.

Bill: Who's Kenny?

Spring: A character from South Park.

Bill: Oh... Umm.. Do I have to?

Spring: I'd prefer you didn't, but just go do it. He already dies a lot...

Bill: Then we can just wait em' out.

Dipper: Come on! You'd enjoy killing him!

Bill: I'm insane. Not a serial-killer.

Mabel: True.

Soren: Fine. Anyways... Hi Forest!

Forest: Hi guys! I just wanted to do something.

Spring: By all means! I have a feeling I already know.

Forest: *dumps holy water on Bill, then runs off, laughing*

Bill: Seriously? Holy water doesn't do anything...

Forest: DAMMIT! *slumps out of room*

Dipper: Well... That was trippy...

Mabel: Agreed!

Spring: We'll have to wrap this chapter up. Sorry guys! Bye!


	6. Authors Note

Sorry guys, I won't be able to update for awhile. Homework, school dances, and E-Stars and such. I'm not abandoning the story, but I won't be able to update for awhile. :(


	7. Chapter 6

**Bill:** hehe. That was fun.  
**Soren:** Bill, are you going to-  
**Nevaeh**: Hey guys! Am I late?  
**Spring**: Nevaeh! How are you?! Come in! Come in! Readers, listen up! This is Neveah (Neveah Productions) and this the first fanfiction that she's been in, I believe. (Other than her own.) You have to read her stories! They are amazing!  
**Nevaeh**: *blushes* No they're not. I'm just so happy to be here!  
**Mabel:** we're happy you're here too!  
**Bill:** Not this girl! She wrote a fanfiction basicly just like this one, and forced me to love her!  
*Nevaeh's cheeks start turning red from anger and embarrassment*  
**Spring:** I gave her permission! Her stories are amazing, and better than I could ever write mine! And i'm forcing you to love me! Literally no difference.  
**Everyone else**: ...  
**Spring: **Pretend I didn't say that.  
**Bill:** Yes! I knew you loved me!  
**Soren**: I bet that little scene at the restaraunt wasn't just a setup, was it? *wiggles eyebrows*  
**Spring:** NEVAEH! FOLLOW ME! WE HAVE SOME SCHEMING TO DO!  
*Drags Nevaeh out of the room*

**Bill**: Dang. I'm scared now.  
**Dipper:** I'm just surprised she admitted she made you love her, since she's technicly controlling the story...  
**Soren**: I forgot she has control over everything... She could kill me right now if she wanted too... Please don't do it Spring!

**_Writer: FINE! I won't do it. But i'm not making any promises about Bill._**

**Soren:** Fine with me!  
**Bill**: She wouldn't kill me.  
**Soren**: Yes she would.

**_Writer: No I wouldn't Soren. I kinda have a soft spot for the little dorito._**

**Bill:** Knew it!  
**Mabel:** Ooh... Spring, can you get me a gigantic thing of industrial sprinkles?

_**Writer: Anything for Mabel! Here you go!**_

*sprinkles magicly appear in front of Mabel*

**Mabel**: Yum! *shoves fistful in mouth*  
**Dipper:** Spring, just switch over to what you and Neveah are plotting. I don't think anyone want's to see Mabel, Soren, and Bill talk to the girl who's not really who she says she is-MMMRPH?! *cork appears in his mouth*

**_Writer: KEEP YOUR BIG MOUTH SHUT KID! YOU ARE DEALING WITH A MAJOR FANGIRL! YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW MUCH YOU WERE ABOUT TO COST ME! I HAVE A REPUTATION HERE! ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN ME?!_**

**Bill**: Trust me, Spring. Pine Tree won't stop at anything to get his point across. That's why I possessed his body! In a way...

_**Writer: Yeah... This is getting sorta creepy. I'll switch over.**_

* * *

Somewhere where Nevaeh and Spring are plotting.

* * *

Neveah: Usually when people get dragged into a dark closet, they get murdered. Or rap-

Spring: Shut up Neveah! I'll turn on the light. *flips the light switch*

Neveah: Ooo much better.  
Spring: Ok. So, I was thinkin-  
Neveah: That's dangerous!  
Spring: Shh! Anyways, I was thinking we cou-  
Neveah: *raises hand*  
Spring: *rolls eyes* What do you want, Neveah?  
Neveah: Where's the bathroom?  
Spring: Why do you need to go?  
Neveah: I have to PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! *starts hopping from foot to foot, doing the potty dance*  
Spring: I don't know! Who goes to the bathrooms in fanfictions?  
Neveah: I GOTTA GO! HURRY UP, OR YOU'LL BE BUYING ME A NEW PAIR OF PANTS.  
Spring: Well, there isn't anywhere you can go.  
Neveah: I'll keep stuttering until you find a place where I can go pee!  
Spring: DON'T YOU DARE!  
Neveah: I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I Spring: Mute. *presses a mute button* Much better. Anyways, we'll go find that memory erasing machine, and then we'll erase Bill's memory of ever having a crush on me! Then he'll develop another one, but then we'll erase his mind again.  
Neveah: *looks at Spring with big eyes*  
Spring: Oh yeah. Sorry. *snaps fingers and Neveah is un-muted.  
Neveah: THANK YOU!  
Spring: *snaps fingers and a bathroom door appears about 4 feet away* You can go to the bathroom now.  
Neveah: *looks down at the ground*  
Spring: Neveah...?  
Neveah: I already took care of that problem...  
Spring: You...WHAT?! DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST PEE YOUR PANTS?!  
Neveah: I sowee...  
Spring: Today has been way stressful guys, *snaps fingers and Spring has the mind eraser in her hand, and Neveah has a clean pair of pants on* Let's go.

* * *

Spring: We're back. And I have something to tell you Bill. *grips hand around the mind eraser*  
Bill: Wait. Before you do, I wanna do something for you.  
Dipper: I disagreed with everything!  
Mabel: It's so beautiful!  
Soren: Sit, Spring. Nev, you come over here. Neveah: *walks over to Soren*  
Soren: *makes her sit on his lap. Causing her to giggle* Bill: PT! Get me my guitar!  
Dipper: *hands accoustic guitar to Bill, while muttering some not so nice words.  
Spring: Oh no.

**_(**A**/N I handed the computer to my BFF so I literally have no control over this next part. I have no idea what she's going to do. If you wanna blame someone for how terrible this next part is, blame Rachel Corduroy!)_**

Bill: *plays a few notes* _I still hear you voice when you sleep next to me-_  
Spring: Bill, that song is sung by a girl.  
Bill: Shh... Don't interrupt while i'm singing to you.  
*The room is quiet, so Bill starts again.*  
Bill: _I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me._  
_I still feel your touch in my dream._  
_Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why Without you it's hard to survive._

_'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling._  
_And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly._  
_Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last._  
_Need you by my side._  
_'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static._  
_And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky._  
_Can't you hear my heart beat so..._  
_I can't let you go._  
_Want you in my life._

_Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky._  
_They wipe away tears that I cry._  
_The good and the bad times, we've been through them all._  
_You make me rise when I fall._

_'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling._  
_And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly._  
_Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last._  
_Need you by my side._  
_'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static._  
_And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky._  
_Can't you hear my heart beat so..._  
_I can't let you go._  
_Want you in my life._

_'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling._  
_And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly._  
_Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last._  
_Need you by my side._

Spring: *tears well up in eyes*  
Bill: You don't like it?  
Spring: No. I love it! *runs over and kisses Bill on the lips*

**_(A/N I just got my computer back, and my best friend has the computer locked to where I can't delete any of what she just typed. Just saying, she's behind me laughing her head off. Go crazy people who like the SpringXBill shipping.)_**

*the kiss grows more passionate, causing everyone else to look away*

Dipper: Eww. That's gross.  
Mabel: *elbows soren in the rib* Told ya! Nature will take it's course.  
Soren: *shudders* I'm on Dipper's side.  
Neveah: So cute! Let's leave them be.  
We'll be doing dares next chapter. I CALL DIBS ON THE FIRST ONE!

Spring: OH MY GOD! IS THAT CAMERA STILL ON?! SHUT IT OFF! SHUT IT OFF!

**_TECHNICLE DIFFICULTIES_**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Spring:**_ Sorry about the wait guys. I've just kinda been...Busy... I found out I have a few found love for Gideon!

**Bill: **You're supposed to love me though!

**Mabel: **What kinda of sick twisted fangirl are you?!

**Spring: **One of a kind! Well guys, we have a guest! More like new host. SongofPeace16! Just call her Peace everybody.

**Nevaeh: **I got first dare! It's from Crysta Rose Gleeful-

**Spring: **I like her style!

**Dipper and Soren: **Shut up, Spring! You are literally the only one here who likes Gideon!

**Peace: **They're right. Now please, let Nevaeh read the dare.

**Nevaeh: **Thank you, Peace!

_**Okay, so I dare Bill (meaning everybody) to go to a bar, and get wasted. Everybody shall sing Just Dance by Lady GaGa!**_

**Soren: **Sounds good!

**Dipper: **Mabel and I are underaged.

**Spring: **We can make an exception this one time.

**Mabel: **Yay! Just promise you won't write any of us getting addicted to drugs.

**Spring: **Promise!

**Bill: **Boys, follow me! *he drags Dipper and Soren out of the door with him*

**Peace: **Yeah! Girl's club!

**Spring: **Not exactly...

**Mabel: ***jumps out of seat* We need...Party outfits!

**Spring and Nevaeh: **Exactly!

**Mabel: **Finally! Spring, you're wearing yellow. Neveah, you'd look good in red. Peace... How do you feel about blue?

**Peace: **sounds good.

**Mabel: **me myself, i'm wearing green.

*The girls all get into their party outfits. Spring is wearing a yellow tank, with a yellow pleaded skirt. Neveah was sporting a red crop top,plus a black undershirt, denim shorts, and a white jean jacket. Peace was wearing a navy blue party dress, with white poka dots all over it. Whereas Mabel wore a green sweater with black poka dots all over it, and a white skirt*

**Neveah: **Hmm. I feel hot for once.

**Spring and Peace: **Yeah! Jinx! Double jinx! Triple Jinx! Quadru-

*****their 'jinxing' was cut off by the boys walking in*****

**Bill: **Whoa. You guys look...Wow.

**Spring:** I know. We're cute.

**Bill: **Well, beyond cute. More like gorgeous. No-hot. Definately hot.

**Peace: **You guys look good too.

**Neveah: **Now! Off to get drunk!

*after everyone, except for Soren, Nevaeh and Peace get drunk, they seem...jumpy.*

**Dipper:** Dude, *puts hand on Bill's shoulder* I've always loved you.

**Bill: **What?! You too? Same here. Let's have a thousand babies together! That'll show them!

**Dipper: **That sounds perfect-*Soren rips them apart*

**Soren: **Peace! Help me here! They're getting...creepy.

**Peace: **On it! *helps Soren keep Bill and Dipper apart, from...You get it.*

*Meanwhile*

**Spring: **Neva-eh. Do you know how I turned my shirt inside out?

**Nevaeh: **Whoa, how'd you do that?

**Spring: **Idonknow...

**Mabel: **Uh...What kind of sick joke *hiccups* is this.

*****Nevaeh stares at the young girl curiously*

**Spring: **Nev. Show me to the-*Spring ends up puking on Nevaeh*

**Nevaeh: **Uh...I think you've had a bit too much.

**Spring:** bathroom...

**Nevaeh:** Do you want to take a rest?

**Spring: **Yeah, that sounds good...*falls forward and lands ontop of Nevaeh*

**Nevaeh: **Uh...Spring. Could you get off of me for a sec?

**Spring: ***snores*

**Nevaeh: **Of course. *tries to crawl from underneath of the bigger girl, but she fails*

Great. Just great. SOREN!

(back at the tree room)

**Dipper:** Ugh... What happened?

**Soren: **Uh, Bill suggested that you have a thousand babies together-

**Bill: **Did not!

**Peace: **Yes you did, Bill! Now, shut up!

**Soren: **anyways, you said yes, and we had to separate you two.

**Dipper: **I feel like puking.

**Mabel: **I felt dead.

**Bill: **No you didn't. You don't know what being dead feels like.

**Nevaeh: **And you do?

**Bill: **Yes. Don't push for more.

**Spring: **I'm sorry I fell ontop of you and fell asleep, Nevaeh.

**Nevaeh: **That was so uncomfortable!

**Spring: **Come on! I'm not that bad to cuddle with! I cuddle with my Bill plushie all the time! He likes i-WHAT?!

**Soren: **I don't know why you were my first crush.

**Bill: **Because she's totally hot?! Come on dude! Who wouldn't love her?!

**Soren: **Well... Gideon, for one-

**Peace: **We get it Soren. Well anyway! I want to read the next dare. It's from... Coin Cipher!

Bill! DARE: You must kill Pine Tree, Shooting Star, and Spring. (Spring, you cannot try to defend yourself in any way) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

**Bill: **No.

**Peace: **Good decision!

**Spring:** But it was a dare…!

**Dipper: **You _want _Bill to kill us?!

**Mabel: **That is a hard one…

**Spring: **Yes. End of sentence.

**Bill: **No. And one more thing…. STOP PUTTING YOUR LAST NAMES AS CIPHER! SERIOUSLY!  
**Soren: ***pats Bill's back* You okay dude?  
**Bill: **Next! Okay, from Linda luvs Bill. I bet she does.

**Nevaeh: **Be polite!

**Spring: **OKAY, dare is…

i dare bill to go out on a date with you and kiss you... on the lips! mwahahahahahhahahahaha! and ask him if he had a girlfriend before. and if the triforce is his sister

**Spring: **More relationship stuff! Ugh. What is it with teenagers and love?!

**Bill: **Yay! Another date!

**Dipper: **Erm… I don't mean to burst your guys bubble, but your date can't be TOO long. We have to fit a bunch of dares into the chap.

**Bill: **Okay, first of all. Triforce isn't my sister. I barely even LIKE Zelda!

**Peace: **But you know what Triforce is!

**Nevaeh: **Yeah!

**Mabel: **Zelda is really fun to play! Especially twilight Princ-

**Bill: **Quiet, Double S. No, I've never had a girlfriend before. Other than in peoples stories. Now I have the PERFECT date that Spring will love! We'll be in the next room, everybody! *grabs Spring's arm and drags her into the next room*

**Dipper: **Oh dang. I'm scared!

**Soren: **Me too Dip. Me too.

**Mabel: **Come on! The Sprill shipping isn't _too _bad!

**Nevaeh: **You have a name for the shipping?

*****Mabel nods*

*meanwhile in next room*

**Spring: **Bill what are we doing? And just to answer what you were thinking, no. I will not make out with you.

**Bill: **Jeez! Are you always this jumpy? *pops a disc into the CD player*

**Spring: **We had better not be watching 22 jump street!

**Bill: **No. We're watching that when the camera isn't filming.

**Spring: **Great! Something to look forward to.

*Bill shuts off the lights, as the show comes on*

_The scene starts off as a ship, landed on the ground_

"_Ezra. Ezra! You in there?" A man with brown hair pulled back into a ponytail says._

_A lasat with pale purple skin yawns and opens the door. "Nope. He's not in here."_

**Spring: ***mouth drops open* I love Star Wars Rebels!

**Bill: **I knew you did. *Spring snuggles up to him* Please don't try to kill me this date. Deal?  
**Spring: **I won't try to kill you, but no deal. Not in a million years.

**Bill: **What else about the dare…?

**Spring: ***groans* C'mere so we can get it over with. *Bill leans over ad Spring gives him a peck on the lips*

**Bill: **What? That's it?

**Spring: **Don't push it.

*after the show ends, they walk back in the 'Tree Room'. As Spring dubbed it.* 

**Peace: **How was the date?

**Nevaeh: **I need details!  
**Mabel: **TELL ME NOW!

**Spring: **We watched Star wars Rebels!

*everyone's mouths drop open*

**Girls: **THAT WAS IT?!

**Dipper: **Hmm… I figured they'd at least go out to eat.

**Spring: **What's not to love about the show?! I mean, the humor, the fact that it's Star Wars!

**Nevaeh: **It's just kinda…different. That's it.

**Bill: ***whispers in Spring's ear* don't listen to them.

**Spring: **Planned on it. *sits down in chair* The next dare is from BlackRose Unicorn!

I have a question for Bill:  
1\. Can you please stop dreaming for me? Like seriously thats getting annoying. Do you like me or something? Because seriously, every night you get in my dreams, say some kind of riddles and disappear  
2\. Bill, I have a dare that you will like. Ask Spring to marry you :P  
Spring, if you will not answer YES I will use my strange skills... and you don't want to know what they can... They're even more powerful than yours...

**Bill: **Erm… I do nightmares… And I only can't _stop _dreaming. I can stop nightmares though! Not that I will. And, Spring will you marry me?

**Spring: **After our like… second date? Sorry, no-

**Mabel: **You're heartless!

**Dipper and Soren: **I like her decision!

**Nevaeh: **I want to be a bridesmaid!  
**Spring: **Guys, I said n-

**Bill: **Please! *kneels down on one knee ring pops up in his hand* Will you, Spring Pines, marry me, Bill Cipher, hottest,best,funniest-

**Peace: **Cut to the chase!

**Bill: ***glares* Dream demon?

**Spring: ***shifts in seat* ERM… Do I _have _to? I feel like I'm being forced…

**Mabel: **That's because you are!

**Spring: **O-kay, then? Yes, I guess.


End file.
